My minions….er pigeons

Avenger pigeons

Minions and pigeons. I haven’t even seen the movie with the “minions” but I see them all over the internet. They are cute little buggers. I often hear slaves and people who follow others called Minions. So I went with it…..These are Loki’s minions….

Tony: Oh crap. We have company.

Thor:  What beautiful wildlife you have on your world. Such lovely colored feathered creatures.

Cap: Those are……

Clint: Yup, my harem is here.

Cap: Pigeons.

Natasha: Oh for god sake Clint, do you have to take them everywhere we go?

Bruce: That one’s kinda cute.

Me: He looks like Thor. There’s a crest of white, like lightning down his back.

Clint: That one over there looks like me.

Me: No, that one’s Loki.

Thor: Loki? How do you figure it’s Loki?

Me: Because. Look at how it’s strutting around, puffing itself up and pushing all the others around. Definitely Loki.

Thor: No, you are mistaken. That one is clearly not Loki. It is chasing Thor.

Me: Yup, and now it’s stealing the burrito from Thor. Loki I tell ya.

Clint: Hehe. That funny looking big one must be Bruce. But it’s the “other guy” Bruce.

Natasha: There are more coming. Quit feeding them Cat.

Me: They are coming for my cheerios. Honey Nut. Yummy. Damn, that was quick. You guys just inhaled all my cheerios.

Clint:  We didn’t eat them, they did.

Me: I know, but they’re you. All of you. Look now there’s 6 of them. Which one is Tony?

Tony: Clearly the one ignoring the rest. (where is the damn bus?….feeding damn pigeons….shitting all over the place….)

Thor: That one certainly is not me. The one you call Loki is mounting it. I do not find this humorous.

Me: Oh, Loki just chased away Natasha. Bad Loki.

Tony: A jalapeno and an egg shell. There’s something you don’t see every day at a bus stop.

Me: Someone must have been eating their lunch here. Weird.

Bruce: Maybe the pigeons laid it. Maybe Loki laid it.

Clint: HA! Loki laid an egg…..! Good one!

Thor: The one called Thor has just defecated. That is ……disgusting.

Clint: That’s pretty much all pigeons do Thor. They eat and poop. Eat and poop……and lay eggs occasionally.

Me: This bus is taking forever. I am not feeding them any more of my cheerios. I am saving them for me.And Loki ate most of them. What a hog.

Natasha: They left. Loki flew away and they all followed him. Pretty much how the internet fangirls do.

Clint: My fangirls left me for Loki?!

Me: Sorry Clint. Maybe you’ll find some new ones when we get to the depot.

While talking to my “self” and the Avengers, I was scanning through my Mp3 player and came across a song I didn’t know I had, by Bruno Mars.

Very funny……”The Voices in my head”  Seemed only fitting since I obviously have a lot in common with Bruno…lol

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Home …Finally………

Me: I have no idea if the bus stops near my house.

Cap: (groans) I told you to take the other one!

Tony: (slaps Cap) I swear to God, let me out of here or I’m gonna blow a hole in this skull!

Hawkeye: I love looking at the scenery. Shit, this is a really crappy place…..where are the birds?

Me: They went to Florida for the winter. Or maybe they just realized how much this place sucks too.

Natasha: Don’t worry Clint, your pigeon girls will find you sooner or later. Personally, that’s not a question I need answered.

Banner: I lived in Calcutta. This place is worse. I could “clean it up for you”…..

Me: Thanks Bruce. I don’t think even you could fix this shithole.

Cap: Why don’t you like it here. The people seem friendly enough.

Me: No one speaks English here Cap. Spanish, Spanish, Spanish…..

(The bus stops at my stop. I walk toward my apartment, and pass a man on the street. He comments something in Spanish)

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish.” (ugh)

Man: “Oh, you don’t speak Spanish. I was just saying “Happy New Year.”

Me: “Oh thanks, you too.”

(Walking on)……”shit”.

Tony: What’s wrong?

Me: I actually understood him in Spanish. I’ve got to move…

Cap: We’re home!!! Yippee!

Thor: This domicile does not suit you Catherine. You deserve much nicer accommodations. Gold and towers and monuments built to the sky….

Tony: Yeah, I have to agree. I have some room at my place..

Me: I hate cities Tony. This is just a smaller, crappier one than you live in.

Tony: (Gasps) How, how can you say such a thing? You were born in New York.

Me: I was born in Albany, New York. Not Manhattan. I am a suburban or country type of girl. I hate cities. Cold, hard, no grass, no air, all just huge buildings covering up the sky.

Tony: I don’t know you.….

Me: And I’m afraid of heights, so your tower—

Cap: You mean that big, ugly…….building?

Me: Yes Cap. Does it even have heat? All I saw were big open windows and doors you walk out of and nothing closed.

Tony: Yeah, but at least I don’t live in a dungeon.

Me: I don’t live in a dungeon, it’s home. For now anyway. I make the best of what I have…..You should try it.

Tony: I could build you a nicer dungeon. And I could add Jarvis so you’d never be lonely.

Me : (sniff) yeah, that sounds nice. But then I wouldn’t have you guys to keep me company.

Hawkeye: Awwww. That is just so sweet!

So, the bus ride home….

[audio:http://atraiza.blog.com/files/2015/01/AVENGERSSOUNDGARDENLIVETORISE.mp3|titles=Live to Rise]

Waiting very very coldly at the bus stop after getting the toilet paper at WalGreens……(it’s a bus Depot, so lots of buses coming and going)

Me:  Shit shit shit! I can’t believe it’s getting colder out!

(Silence)

Me: Hey, what’s wrong with you guys? It’s awfully quiet in here.

Tony: Thor is asleep. His stupid hair keeps getting in my mouth.

Cap: He has nice hair. Why do you always have to complain?

Tony: Why are you even here? Cat doesn’t even like your character.

Me: Hey! Yes I do, he’s just not my favorite!

Hawkeye: I am…..ha ha.

Natasha: Your pigeons are back. Damn, Cat, watch your step.

Me: Did you guys catch that guy in the shorts and a tee shirt? It’s 40º out!

Natasha: What a moron. His shorts don’t even match his sneakers. Talk about a fashion don’t.

Banner: Why did Thor bring his hammer? We just went to the pharmacy. What does he need it for?

Tony: I don’t know, but I wish he’d get it out of my side.

Hawkeye: That’s not his hammer……budumbum!

Cap: Hey Cat, you got quiet. You okay?

Me: My face is frozen. I can’t take this cold anymore. Let’s go stand in the sun.

Tony: Yeah, like we have a choice. We’re along for the ride sweetheart. Where you go, we go……

Me: My nose is starting to run. I don’t have a tissue.

Thor: I …do …not…understand. How can your nose be running? I has no feet.

Cap: I understood that reference.

Banner: You see Thor, it’s actually not her nose that is running, it’s the mucous inside it which has liquified and is coming out of her nostrils.

Tony: That’s just gross. Seriously, can I get out now?

Me: No. I need you to keep me sane a little longer. Oh shit, that guy is talking to me. “Yes sir, waiting on the 55.”

Cap: Again. Can’t we just get the next bus that comes, go downtown to the bus depot and get one that takes us home?

Me: No Captain Impatient. I don’t want to be on a bus all damn day. Just wait. It’ll come.

Cap: Fine. I’m just sayin….

Me: Hmm. That security guy is cute. But stuck up. He keeps checking his phone. Hey, my phone is ringing!

Hawkeye: Was it him? Who called you? Your phone never rings….

Me: Another 800 number. Damn.  Look at that idiot with a tank top on and a scarf. What does he think he looks like?

Natasha:  A moron.

Tony: I’m bored. You want me to take him out? One shot, and he’ll dress smarter next time.

Me: No Tony, thanks. He’ll pay for it in the long run when he gets sick.

Hawkeye: Bird flu is the worst. Had it myself once.

All: Laughing……well, except Thor who has no idea what Hawkeye’s talking about.

Tony: Hey Cat, it’s getting chilly in here too. I think your brain is frozen.  Seriously, it wouldn’t take much for me to warm it up.

Banner: If you use one of your repulsor rays you will blow her damn head off. Then where will we be?

Tony: Pretty much anywhere and everywhere….

Hawkeye: Pigeon food. Ew.