This week sucked….
Well, I survived. One more week of life I breathed, ate, slept and grumbled. A lot. I survived my first alone anniversary on the 9th. I survived the ex’s birthday on the 10th, and I even made Friday the 13th decent enough. Valentine’s Day is almost over and I wonder how long till I can begin feeling normal again. Well, as normal as I have ever felt anyway.
I turned off the phone for a good part of the week. The only calls I got were hangups, or wrong numbers. It’s nice when people call your voicemail and don’t say anything, so you hear nothing when you waste minutes to check voicemail, for NOTHING. Idiots.
I have been in a really foul mood all week. I have cried most nights over little shit which normally wouldn’t annoy me. I made a sandwich which I dropped on the floor two minutes later, and it just set me off. I have been stuffed up, sore and damn tired, but still breathing. I sat at the bus stop the other day waiting for a bus, then when I got to the station for bus 2 coming back, I was cold as hell, annoyed and stupid people surrounding me. A security guard who had been there for over an hour while I waited, saw me smoke 2 cigarettes, as well as the 100 or so people there smoking. The batshitcrazy ones were there, the homeless ones, the strange ones, and they all smoked. But it wasn’t until I lit that last one just before my bus came that apparently was the one. I was so cold I got up off the freezing metal benches which in winter are colder than frozen snot and hotter than hell in summer. Who thinks up these things? Anyway, I decided to stand to smoke so I could do the rest of my body good not being stuck in frozen sitting position. And do you know that asshat decided to piss me off??? He actually told me, “ma’am I need you to go smoke over there in the crosswalk because the police will give you a ticket if you smoke here.” I’m like, “WHAT?” Unfreakingbelievable. So I am the ONLY person he said shit to, and I’m the ONLY person who followed his stupid ass to the crosswalk to prevent a major international incident from me smoking in the freaking bus stop. I stood there, growling under my breath, shooting arrows of death his direction until I was done, and then, threw my butt in the trash, something that NO ONE ELSE WAS DOING. Asshat has now become my favorite word.
Clint: I can’t believe she just did that. I mean, I think that was just rude don’t you?
Cap: She didn’t mean to hurt our feelings I’m sure.
Tony: No, she didn’t. At least I don’t think she did. I mean, why wouldn’t she want to talk to us? Probably just wasn’t paying attention.
Bruce: You know, sometimes I think she just needs to be alone. I mean, without us. It’s not personal guys, she just doesn’t want to hear us all the time.
Clint: Yeah but, she just didn’t even give us two sentences and sticks the damn earbuds into her ears and shuts us right out. She didn’t even let me finish what I was saying, and that’s just not normal for her.
Bruce: She just wants to listen to music. And not us. Let it go.
Thor: It is a bit loud in here now though. Why must she listen to it so loudly? I can barely hear myself……
Bruce: Think that’s the point Thor. She wants to drown us out.
Me: Oh quit yer whining. I’m not drowning you out. I just had this song in my head (along with all of you) and I wanted to hear it okay? Sheesh.
Clint: Yeah but I was talking to you and you just drowned me out……..mid sentence.
Me: Tough. Sometimes you guys just talk to much. I’m in control, got it?
Tony: I am just so turned on right now! You have so much…..so much…….uh……ATTITUDE! Love it! Reminds me of ME.
Me: Yeah, fine. Whatever. I am not in the mood for crap today okay? I have been without cigarettes and I need this damn bus to hurry up. I do not want to deal with any asshats today, no crappy nasty horrible people. And if that means I am nasty back, so be it.
Thor: Okay…..uh, what can we do to help you?
Me: Just hush. I am putting the ear thingys back in, so be quiet ok?
Me: Asshat. Asshat. Asshat. I am going to smack this asshat if he doesn’t finish paying for his ONE FREAKING CANDY BAR!
Tony: Rellllaaaaxxxx. He’s just a little slow……be patient.
Me: He cut in front of me, he picked up a candy bar and he’s spending ten minutes trying to remember his phone number so he can get 5 cents off with is Walgreens reward card. For god sake, just give her $2 and let’s move on! Oh my god, now he’s definitely making me mad.
Woman: “Hi. What can I help you with?”
Clint: GIVE HER CIGARETTES NOW WOMAN AND NO ONE GETS HURT!
Me: “Ahem. Hi. um, Pall Mall orange. Ten or a carton please.”
Woman: “We’re out of cartons, no no wait, here’s one. (smiley face)”
Me: “Great. Thanks.”
Woman: “Thank you! And have a great day, BE WELL.”
Me: “Uh huh.” Asshat. You just sold me cigs and you’re telling me to be well. Hilarious.
Clint: Light it light it light it……
Bruce: Jeez Clint, she’s not a drug addict.
Clint: She needs it bad, if she doesn’t smoke we all will die! I’m scared of her right now and I don’t have a weapon……..shit!
Me: HA HA HA. I am feeling some better now……um, I’m feeling more better now……oh forget it. You know what I meant.
Cap: Hate to tell you but the 55 bus just left.
Me: It’s okay. We’ll get the next one. Shouldn’t take long, maybe ten minutes or so.
Bruce: Feeling better now?
Me: Yup. I just want to get home and avoid all idiots today. Damn, it is chilly out and I am wearing the wrong coat as usual.
Natasha: Forgot mittens today too. We need a warmer climate. And your brain is cold too.
Me: Ha. Yeah, I know. I’m just gonna sit here and check the bus schedule, smoke my cig and chill out……sorry ’bout the pun.
Tony: No problem. We’re just happy when you’re happy and not wanting to drown us……..
(Keane on Mp3)
Tony: I didn’t stand a chance did I?
Me: Damn! The 55 doesn’t come for over an hour. That means like nearly 2 hours of sitting here.
Bruce: Slight exaggeration no? I mean it’s 1:14 and the bus comes at 2:19. That’s just an hour and a few minutes. You can manage.
Me: No I can’t. I am freezing and every weirdo is staring at me today. I mean, I know my hair looks good, and I look normal, so that means they will all want to chit chat today right? Can they not see I have my earbuds in my ears and can’t hear them????! Why do I attract the crazy ass ones all the time??
Cap: We should make a game of it.
Natasha: What? Why?
Cap: Well, we have time to kill, and Cat’s bored so let’s do something fun!
Clint: Shoot me now. Seriously.. Please shoot me.
Chollo: “Hey man, what time is the next 55 comin?”
Me: I’m wearing earbuds moron. I can’t hear you. And I’m not a man. “Huh?“
Chollo: “The 55 dude, what time is it comin?”
Me: I’m clearly not a dude. I have boobs asshat. “At 2:19. You have to wait a while.”
Chollo: “Whaaaat? Ya mean I gotta wait that long?? Oh man, I need to get the fifty-five! It’s suppose ta come evry 15 minutes man.”
Me: You can’t speak well sir. And you’re annoying me. Go away. “Sorry, it’s every 45 minutes and it’s running late today.”
Chollo sits down beside me. I keep trying to figure out why my life sucks so bad. I put my earbuds back in, but he starts talking to himself and then looks at his phone.
Chollo: “This sucks man! I gotta get downtown.”
Me: I really feel bad for you. No wait, I really couldn’t care less; please go away NOW. ” Uh huh.”
He finally gets up and walks away, but not before the #35 comes and the #50. Then proceeds to motion to me to get on the #50 which is NOT my bus. I wave him off and smile a “thank you, no” and go back to my music.
Me: Ok, so about this “game” cap. Tell me about it.
Cap: Okay, so here’s what I was thinking. We’re sitting here and over a hundred people have shown up. Let’s try to figure out who they are and what they do.
Clint: I have a better idea. Let’s just think up silly names for all of them based on what they are wearing or their behavior?
Me: I like it. Clint wins. Sorry Cap.
Cap: That’s…..uh, okay……I guess.
Clint: Okay, so we know that guys was a Chollo. Describe him Cat.
Me: Weird, wearing the traditional garb of the Mexican man who dresses as a gangsta, head covered by a bandanabald underneath with tats on his head, stupid ass tattoos all over and pants falling down around his ass. Also cannot speak properly and acts like a homey.
Me: That one is……’Shorts over sweatpants and a tee when it’s freezing out’. What the hell is that all about anyway? Who wears their shorts over their sweats?
Me: Okay, that one is…..Lady ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’. She’s a cop with a weird blond pony tail and a gun and looks pissed off. She just looked at me and then walked away. I swear, what is with people today starin at me?
Tony: I have one…….’Still thinks it’s the 80’s and he’s young and hot’. I mean, those sunglasses and that hair….and leather pants. Funny.
Thor: I like it. I didn’t understand it, but I like it.
Cap: I know what I’d call those two……’Boobs and droopy drawers.’ I mean, she’s got on 6 inch heels and a push up bra, and her boobs are like in line with his chin, and he’s got those baggy pants on. Seriously.
Clint: HA HA! You’re getting the hang of this now! I enjoyed that one! 🙂
Natasha: ‘Scented.’ She had WAYYYY too much perfume on. Damn, still can smell her and she’s around the corner now.
Me: ‘Screaming at cars’. He’s got a cane, he’s walking across traffic and screaming at them! He’ll be on the 6 o’clock news after being hit for sure.
Bruce: I’ve got one…….um……’Don’t know I’m not Beyonce. Look at that mane of hair? She really does not wear it well……..
Me: Um, Chollo is sitting next to me again. Gonna have to change his name to ‘sits too close’ if he doesn’t move. I thought he’d left.
Clint: Nope. He didn’t.
Tony: He could also go by ‘don’t know what time it is and there’s a clock ten feet away.’
Me: Ugh here comes another one. ‘Doesn’t speak a lick of English purple shirt.’ (waving off man with sweets from Mexico salesman.)
Bruce: ‘Mr. Think I’m a stud.’ That hair, that beard. And that leather jacket…….hmm
Me: ‘Normal guy.’
Me: He just looks normal Nothing weird about him.
Clint: ‘Too old to be a college kid.’ He’s wearing a striped shirt straight out of college football from 1900’s. Interesting. I believe it was called “rugby” then.
Me: Heehehe. ‘Sweatsuit momma.’ Matching top and pants sweats. Interesting. Definitely from the 80’s.
Bruce: ‘Obama’s biggest supporter.’ I never saw an Obama face on a shirt. He must really be digging that.
Me: ‘One legged scooter guy. Smoking a cigarette.’ He looks like he’s pretty tough.
Cap: Another ‘normal dude.’ Jacket, gloves, hat. He’s dressed perfectly for this weather. My kinda guy really.
Clint: Okay, now you blew it. And here comes the…….nope. Not ours.
Me: That security guy……he’s an asshat. Oh shit, what now?
Sargeant Security Asshat: “Ma’am, you’re gonna have to go smoke that over there. The police are gonna give you a ticket if they see you smoking here.”
Me: “What? There’s dozens of people smoking and they have been, I mean WE HAVE BEEN for over an hour now and……..”
SSA: “Go over on the crosswalk ma’am, and finish it there okay? Have a nice day.”
Me: FuckittyfuckfuckfuckIhateElPasoshitshitshit Y*^*R%$#*&)*_(&**^#$$%%$#*(&^$@#@&^**(_++_!!!
Clint: Uh oh.
Bruce: Well, time to go guys. Let’s get outta here.
Thor: Even my hammer won’t protect us. Let’s go.
Loki: Ahhh……peace and quiet at last. I’m so glad you’re having a Loki type of day! So what’s this game you all were playing at? Hmmm?